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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Ideas
Every
Facet
Facets
Medieval
Started
Religion
Idea
Thought

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Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
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Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
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[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
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... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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