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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Apple
Apples
Adam
Weren
Shape
Shapes
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
Phyllis Diller
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
Phyllis Diller
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Phyllis Diller
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
Phyllis Diller
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
Phyllis Diller
My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
Phyllis Diller
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
Phyllis Diller
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
self-pity is better than none.
Phyllis Diller
I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
Phyllis Diller
All mothers are working mothers.
Phyllis Diller
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
