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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Almost
Arguing
Fighting
Watching
War
Normal
World
Realize
Parents
Fight
Realizing
Missed
Parent
Argue

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
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It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
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You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
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When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
Phyllis Diller