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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Parent
Argue
Almost
Arguing
Fighting
Watching
War
Normal
World
Realize
Parents
Fight
Realizing
Missed
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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self-pity is better than none.
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
Phyllis Diller
