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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Chests
Ship
Ships
Finally
Wanted
Something
Tattooed
Chest
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
Phyllis Diller
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
Phyllis Diller
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
Phyllis Diller
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
Phyllis Diller
All mothers are working mothers.
Phyllis Diller
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Phyllis Diller
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
Phyllis Diller
When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
Phyllis Diller
For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
Phyllis Diller
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
Phyllis Diller
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
Phyllis Diller
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
