Quote

Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Better
Look
Looks
Good
Like
Moonlight
Ruins

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
Phyllis Diller
Image
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
Phyllis Diller
Image
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
Phyllis Diller
Image
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
Image
A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller