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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Like
Moonlight
Ruins
Better
Look
Looks
Good

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
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Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
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All mothers are working mothers.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
Phyllis Diller
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
Phyllis Diller
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
Phyllis Diller
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
Phyllis Diller
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There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
Phyllis Diller
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
Phyllis Diller
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My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
Phyllis Diller
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
Phyllis Diller
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller