Quote

Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Better
Look
Looks
Good
Like
Moonlight
Ruins

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
Phyllis Diller
Image
A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
Phyllis Diller
Image
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
Phyllis Diller