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Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Car
Air
Seen
Ever
Limp
Men
Tires
Tire
Station
Stations
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
Phyllis Diller
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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self-pity is better than none.
Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
Phyllis Diller
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
Phyllis Diller
Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Phyllis Diller
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Phyllis Diller
It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
Phyllis Diller
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
