Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
Phyllis Diller
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Tire
Station
Stations
Car
Air
Seen
Ever
Limp
Men
Tires
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
Phyllis Diller
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
Phyllis Diller
Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Phyllis Diller
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
Phyllis Diller
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
Phyllis Diller
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
Phyllis Diller
My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
Phyllis Diller
Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
Phyllis Diller
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
Phyllis Diller
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
Phyllis Diller
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
Phyllis Diller
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller