Quote

My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Prescriptions
Underwear
Shape
Shapes
Wear
Body
Prescription

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
Image
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
Phyllis Diller