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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Plan
Plans
Beauty
Year
Give
Giving
Years
Never

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
Phyllis Diller