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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Plan
Plans
Beauty
Year
Give
Giving
Years
Never

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
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self-pity is better than none.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
Phyllis Diller
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller
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My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
Phyllis Diller
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I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Phyllis Diller
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
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I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
Phyllis Diller
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
Phyllis Diller
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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
Phyllis Diller
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
Phyllis Diller
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
Phyllis Diller
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Phyllis Diller
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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
Phyllis Diller