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My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Sister
Dress
Dresses
Law
Stripe
Striped
Stripes
Skinny
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
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I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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