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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Witchcraft
Result
Results
Believe

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
Phyllis Diller
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Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
Phyllis Diller
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
Phyllis Diller
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Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
Phyllis Diller
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
Phyllis Diller
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All mothers are working mothers.
Phyllis Diller
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
Phyllis Diller
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
Phyllis Diller
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[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
Phyllis Diller
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I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
Phyllis Diller
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
Phyllis Diller
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How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
Phyllis Diller
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
Phyllis Diller
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
Phyllis Diller
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Phyllis Diller