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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Believe
Witchcraft
Result
Results

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller
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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
Phyllis Diller
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... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
Phyllis Diller
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... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
Phyllis Diller
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Phyllis Diller
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Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
Phyllis Diller
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I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Phyllis Diller
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
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[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
Phyllis Diller
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
Phyllis Diller
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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
Phyllis Diller
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
Phyllis Diller
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Phyllis Diller
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Phyllis Diller
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We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
Phyllis Diller