Quote

Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Practice
Work
Life

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Phyllis Diller
Image
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
Phyllis Diller
Image
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller