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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Identical
Timing
Involves
Sex
Humor
Comedy
Funny

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
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I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
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Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
Phyllis Diller
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
Phyllis Diller
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
Phyllis Diller
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Phyllis Diller
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
Phyllis Diller
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You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
Phyllis Diller
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... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
Phyllis Diller
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
Phyllis Diller
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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Phyllis Diller