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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Physician
Physicians
Doctor
Treats
Doctors
Support
Family

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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
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It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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