Quote

I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Listened
Line
Lines
Mother
Long
Foolishly
Descended

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
Phyllis Diller
Image
We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
Phyllis Diller
Image
I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
Image
My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
Phyllis Diller
Image
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
Phyllis Diller
Image
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
Phyllis Diller
Image
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Phyllis Diller