Quote

get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Doubled
Feeling
Bride
Lasts
Recipe
Last
Brides
Feelings
Recipes
Going
Wedding
Like
Cake
Froze
Married

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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
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My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
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self-pity is better than none.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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