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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Cake
Married
Froze
Feeling
Doubled
Lasts
Bride
Last
Recipe
Feelings
Brides
Going
Recipes
Like
Wedding

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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
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I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
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Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
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