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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Last
Recipe
Feelings
Brides
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Recipes
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Wedding
Cake
Married
Froze
Feeling
Doubled
Lasts
Bride
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
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I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
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A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
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There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
Phyllis Diller
This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
Phyllis Diller
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Phyllis Diller
