Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Plastic
Looked
Face
Bouquet
Faces
Bouquets
Like
Surgeon
Elbows
Surgeons
Surgery
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Phyllis Diller
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
Phyllis Diller
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
Phyllis Diller
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
Phyllis Diller
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
Phyllis Diller
A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.
Phyllis Diller
My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
Phyllis Diller
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
Phyllis Diller
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
Phyllis Diller
My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
Phyllis Diller
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
Phyllis Diller
Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
Phyllis Diller
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
