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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Elbows
Surgeons
Surgery
Plastic
Looked
Face
Bouquet
Faces
Bouquets
Like
Surgeon
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller
Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Phyllis Diller
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
Phyllis Diller
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
Phyllis Diller
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
Phyllis Diller
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
Phyllis Diller
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
Phyllis Diller
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
Phyllis Diller
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
Phyllis Diller
I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
Phyllis Diller
