Quote

My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Face
Bouquet
Faces
Bouquets
Like
Surgeon
Elbows
Surgeons
Surgery
Plastic
Looked

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
Phyllis Diller
Image
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
Phyllis Diller
Image
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
Image
Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
Phyllis Diller
Image
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller