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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Face
Bouquet
Faces
Bouquets
Like
Surgeon
Elbows
Surgeons
Surgery
Plastic
Looked

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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
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