Quote

Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Adjusting
Becoming
Humor
Way
Comedienne
Puberty

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
Phyllis Diller
Image
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
Phyllis Diller
Image
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
Phyllis Diller
Image
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
Phyllis Diller
Image
All mothers are working mothers.
Phyllis Diller
Image
It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
Phyllis Diller
Image
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
Image
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller