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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Comedienne
Puberty
Adjusting
Becoming
Humor
Way
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
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Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Phyllis Diller
My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
