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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Overpower
Karate
Perfume
Dating
Sick
Looking
Men

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
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My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Phyllis Diller
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[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
Phyllis Diller
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
Phyllis Diller
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Phyllis Diller
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
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I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
Phyllis Diller
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
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My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.
Phyllis Diller
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
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I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
Phyllis Diller
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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller