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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Overpower
Karate
Perfume
Dating
Sick
Looking
Men

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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
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My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to buy a gun for my husband.' The clerk says, 'Did he tell you what kind of gun?' 'No,' she replied. 'He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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