Quote

I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Sick
Looking
Men
Overpower
Karate
Perfume
Dating

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
Image
I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
Image
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
Phyllis Diller
Image
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
Phyllis Diller
Image
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
Phyllis Diller
Image
There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller