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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Karate
Perfume
Dating
Sick
Looking
Men
Overpower

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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
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I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
Phyllis Diller