Quote

How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Bites
Mark
Higher
Growing
Wells
Well
Marks
Bite

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
Phyllis Diller
Image
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
Phyllis Diller
Image
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
Phyllis Diller
Image
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
Phyllis Diller
Image
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
Image
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
Phyllis Diller
Image
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
Phyllis Diller
Image
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
Phyllis Diller
Image
... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
Phyllis Diller
Image
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller