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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Made
Driver
Years
License
Drivers
Insane
Family
Sense
Seems
States
Sixteen
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
Phyllis Diller
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Phyllis Diller
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Phyllis Diller