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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Sense
Seems
States
Sixteen
Made
Driver
Years
License
Drivers
Insane
Family

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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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self-pity is better than none.
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