Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
Phyllis Diller
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Money
Nothing
Love
Like
Marrying
Tennis
Sports
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
Phyllis Diller
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
Phyllis Diller
My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
Phyllis Diller
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller
Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Phyllis Diller
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
Phyllis Diller
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
Phyllis Diller
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
Phyllis Diller
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
