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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Inspirational
Electric
Hair
Quite
Courses
Course
Toothbrush
Actually
Toothbrushes
Use
Comb
Often
Combs

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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
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How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
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