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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Courses
Course
Toothbrush
Actually
Toothbrushes
Use
Comb
Often
Combs
Inspirational
Electric
Hair
Quite
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
Phyllis Diller
I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
Phyllis Diller
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
Phyllis Diller
If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Phyllis Diller
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Phyllis Diller
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
Phyllis Diller
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
Phyllis Diller
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
Phyllis Diller
This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
Phyllis Diller
I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
Phyllis Diller
Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
Phyllis Diller
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
Phyllis Diller
