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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Quite
Courses
Course
Toothbrush
Actually
Toothbrushes
Use
Comb
Often
Combs
Inspirational
Electric
Hair
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
Phyllis Diller
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
Phyllis Diller
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
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Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
Phyllis Diller
Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
Phyllis Diller
