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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Quite
Courses
Course
Toothbrush
Actually
Toothbrushes
Use
Comb
Often
Combs
Inspirational
Electric
Hair
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
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Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
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Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
Phyllis Diller
Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
Phyllis Diller
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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