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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Always
Fangs
Gloves
Kiss
Kissing
Touch
Morning
Fighting
Inspirational
Fang
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You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
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We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
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If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
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Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
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