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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Trash
Garbage
Competition
Stand
Lying
Inspirational
House
Fang
Around
Fangs
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to buy a gun for my husband.' The clerk says, 'Did he tell you what kind of gun?' 'No,' she replied. 'He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him.
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When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
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My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
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My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.
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Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
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Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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