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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Around
Fangs
Trash
Garbage
Competition
Stand
Lying
Inspirational
House
Fang
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
Phyllis Diller
I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.
Phyllis Diller
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
Phyllis Diller
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller
My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
Phyllis Diller
