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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Around
Fangs
Trash
Garbage
Competition
Stand
Lying
Inspirational
House
Fang
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Phyllis Diller
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
Phyllis Diller
It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
Phyllis Diller
I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Phyllis Diller
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
Phyllis Diller
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
Phyllis Diller
