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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Bed
Career
Careers
Move
Morning
Getting
Moving
Fang
Inspirational
Fangs
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
Phyllis Diller
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
Phyllis Diller
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
Phyllis Diller
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Phyllis Diller
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
Phyllis Diller
We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
Phyllis Diller
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
Phyllis Diller
Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.
Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
Phyllis Diller
Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
Phyllis Diller
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Phyllis Diller
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
Phyllis Diller
