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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Move
Moving
Inspirational
Many
Make
Appointment
Appointments
Muscles
Fingers
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
Phyllis Diller
I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
Phyllis Diller
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
Phyllis Diller
When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
Phyllis Diller
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
Phyllis Diller
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
Phyllis Diller
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
Phyllis Diller
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
