Quote

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Inspirational
Look
Rams
Looks
Hairdresser
Good
Helmet
Would
Angeles
Asked
Football
Says

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, A teaspoon before going to bed, and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You want to look younger... rent smaller children.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
Phyllis Diller
Image
[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller
Image
We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Phyllis Diller