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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.

Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Inspirational
Hairdresser
Blows
Ill
Blow
Leave

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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
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You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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