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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
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Inspirational
Hairdresser
Blows
Ill
Blow
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
Phyllis Diller
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Phyllis Diller
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
Phyllis Diller
My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
Phyllis Diller
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Phyllis Diller
Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
Phyllis Diller
I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
Phyllis Diller
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
Phyllis Diller
Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller
This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
Phyllis Diller
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
Phyllis Diller