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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Juniors
Size
Wear
Inspirational
Find
Hard
Mister
Junior
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
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My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
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I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
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All mothers are working mothers.
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My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
