Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
Phyllis Diller
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Felt
Always
Never
Worked
Husband
Career
Careers
Marriage
Inspirational
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
self-pity is better than none.
Phyllis Diller
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Phyllis Diller
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
Phyllis Diller
[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
Phyllis Diller
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
Phyllis Diller
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
Phyllis Diller
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller
Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.
Phyllis Diller
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
Phyllis Diller
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Phyllis Diller
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis Diller
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to buy a gun for my husband.' The clerk says, 'Did he tell you what kind of gun?' 'No,' she replied. 'He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him.
Phyllis Diller
Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
Phyllis Diller
This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.
Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
Phyllis Diller
When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis Diller
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
Phyllis Diller
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Phyllis Diller
