Quote

There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.

Phyllis Diller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Ovens
Room
Rooms
Single
Crud
Inspirational
Cupcake
Cupcakes
Bake
Oven

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

Image
Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!
Phyllis Diller
Image
... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
Phyllis Diller
Image
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
Phyllis Diller
Image
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
Phyllis Diller
Image
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Phyllis Diller
Image
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Phyllis Diller
Image
When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
Phyllis Diller
Image
My plastic surgeon ... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Phyllis Diller
Image
Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
Phyllis Diller
Image
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
Phyllis Diller
Image
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
Image
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
Image
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
Phyllis Diller