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When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Use
Sometimes
Parlor
Always
Entrance
Entrances
Estimate
Emergency
Emergencies
Beauty
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I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
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Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
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Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
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