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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Cards
Lawn
Neighbor
Indolence
Saws
Lawns
Everybody
Fangs
Funny
Sloth
Laziness
Three
Neighbors
Wells
Lazy
Fang
Well
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
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I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
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My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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self-pity is better than none.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.
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I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
Phyllis Diller
Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.
Phyllis Diller
