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Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Saws
Lawns
Everybody
Fangs
Funny
Sloth
Three
Laziness
Wells
Neighbors
Well
Lazy
Fang
Cards
Lawn
Neighbor
Indolence
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
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If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
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Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
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Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
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My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
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self-pity is better than none.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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